Category Archives: Personal Development

Are you talking to yourself? Put a filter on it and start monitoring

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I received an inspiring message from Lyndel Daly (Life coaching 4u) today. This blog post is a copy of her message, but lets start with a description of what life coaching skills are (from Life Coaching 4u Facebook group)

What are life coaching skills?

These are skills that you can apply in your life with little effort but can have a transformational impact on who you are being.

In your life, if you continue doing the same thing in you will get the same results. These skills support you in changing what you are doing which will produce a different result.

So if there are area of your life where you are feeling despondent or stuck, take on the challenge to change your thoughts which will change your emotions and actions which will change the results/ circumstances of your life. Continue reading →

I do not want to die with regrets in my mind

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Why is it that the older we get, the less willing we are to take chances?

As we get older we get comfortable. We get used to things and see no point in trying to change the world. “My world is fine and that’s the world I live in, so why should I care about kids starving in Africa?” Ever heard about the butterfly effect..?

When we are kids or teenagers nothing can stop us. We will change this and achieve that…and save the world while we’re at it. The only thing stopping us, if we choose to, is the “old generation”, the people telling us to grow up, get a life. The people that has given up their dream for different reasons. Or maybe they never had a dream – “What’s the point? It’s not like I can change anything anyway.”

“You can’t save everybody.” I was told. “You have to think about yourself first. Why do you always have to do so much for everybody else?” My reply was always “Because I can.” And I still believe that I can make a change. I know I can’t save everybody, but if I can help just one single person who’s asking for a change in their life, then I will be 100% there for them.

Being in the organisation CISV has helped me helping others…and others to help me. During those 3-4 weeks once a year I cry, laugh, love and learn so incredibly much. I can not think of any other place where I experience this huge emotional roller coaster in such short period of time. A couple of years at university can, in my world, not even by a long-shot be compared to CISV camps with kids sometimes half my age. Those kids teach me more than most of the teachers do at Uni.

Part of the old generations wisdom is right, I know that the most important person in my life is myself. Without me being sound, I can not help anybody else. But I have also learnt my lesson; I will never let anybody take my dreams away from me and that’s what I tell my kids in CISV (and everybody else for that matter). Dare to dream.

Don’t take life to serious. At the end of the day you will die anyway. And how do you want to remember your life when you’re older? Proudly content, or regretfully disgruntled. Think about that one when you wake up in the morning…how’s your day going to be?

Just dare to live. It’s easy. What do you really have to loose compared to what you can actually win? Take a chance. Live a little. If you are not happy with your present life – change it! You are the only one that can change your life. You are the only one that can take that crucial decision about which way to go when you’re standing in one of those cross-roads in life. Clues, help and knowledge is everywhere, not only in the places where you think it might be.

Look around you and see the world for what it is. It’s huge. And it’s wide open for you. The sky is your limit and your mind sets the boundaries.

I beg you. Dare to dream. Because you know what? Dreams do come true.
- Tess

Inspiration: Toyah Lord was discussing this topic in People’s Post and reading her article I realize how true it is. (The article was published in People’s Post in March 2007)

People around you are a reflection of yourself

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I think it was Confucius that said ”Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof when your own doorstep is unclean.” We so easily complain about things and people around us, but how often do we really look at ourselves with open eyes and heart. How often do we exercise some realistic self-contemplation and make an action plan to find the way to where we deep inside truly want to be?

A friend of mine reminded me a few days ago about who I used to be. I used to have goals and dreams for myself. Where are they now? Am I so content with where I am today that I no longer need goals? Have I fulfilled all my dreams and therefore I am not in need of new ones? I honestly don’t think so.

I have had to turn this matter over quite a bit in my mind lately. I’ve read books, spoken to people and most of all…I’ve done some thinking on my own. “Where am I today?” “Who am I?” “Where do I see myself in 5…10 years?” It may sound like a mid-life crisis but it’s actually not that bad. More like a wake-up call just in time. And I actually got back exactly what I threw out…

The reason why this even came up is because I told my friend about “the snow on his roof”, but in fact quickly got reminded of my own not very well swept doorstep. I simply have some cleaning up to do before I can even think about criticizing other people’s life. And even then, I shouldn’t criticize or condemn.

I think we have to keep on cleaning our own house all through our lives…and it will never be finished, there is always some new input into our lives that will give us reason to do spring-cleaning of our own back yard. Especially before we speak “wisely” about any person’s life but our own.

So, take care…and be nice! Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. Instant karma is not something to play around with…everything you project will come back to you – the people around you are merely a reflection of yourself.

Lose some ‘friends’ to win a life.

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Pleasing those nearest and dearest to you is a divine goal, to make them happy at almost all costs. But not if you do it at the expense of your own true self. Lose yourself and lose your life. ‘Don’t take any shit’ as Grynet said.

When is enough enough? Never, if you love the person, someone said…I don’t know so much. I think the blurry limit is when you feel you are losing yourself, losing the very essence of who you are.

Do some thinking. Speak up. Figure out what YOU want and then go for it. The right people will be there with you. If people fall out, then that’s the way it’s supposed to be. If or when the time is right they might come back into your life, but let go of things that are not good for you.

Unhealthy relationships will drain you…and in worst case scare you from having the same kind of relationship ever again. I think that some people you just can not please without losing yourself – and that’s not worth it for me.

First make yourself happy…but you be careful so it’s not on the expense of others.