Tess Neale

However cheesy the story below is, it has a point. A very useful point, especially for anybody creating activities for groups of people.

I still have my list and will always remember the warm feeling of happyness and love - not only when reading others words about me, but when expressing my love and gratitude for others, knowing it would bring a smile on their face and love in their heart. Thank you CISV!

The assignment

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list… Before long, the entire class was smiling.

‘Really?‘ she heard whispered. ‘I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!‘ and, ‘I didn’t know others liked me so much,’ were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Reality hits

Several years later, one of the students was killed and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the men who acted as pallbearer came up to her. ‘Were you Mark’s math teacher?‘ he asked. She nodded: ‘yes.’ Then he said: ‘Mark talked about you a lot.‘

After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

‘We want to show you something‘ his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket ‘They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.‘

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times.

The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark’s classmates had said about him.

‘Thank you so much for doing that,’ Mark’s mother said. ‘As you can see, Mark treasured it.‘

All of Mark’s former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, ‘I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.‘

Chuck’s wife said, ‘Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.‘

‘I have mine too,‘ Marilyn said. ‘It’s in my diary‘

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. ‘I carry this with me at all times,‘ Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: ‘I think we all saved our lists‘

That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

Moral of the story

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don’t know when that one day will be.

Tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.

Are you a good person? Not only kids and teenagers need a positive role model in their lives. We all need someone to look up to. Someone that inspires us to great achievements. Someone to set an example to live by, even if they don’t know about it (but even better if they do).

Anyone can be anyone’s inspiration.

This means that you are someone’s inspiration, whether you know it or not. Live your life being a positive role model, you never know who’s watching you.

Your own role model can be anyone – international celebrity or your neighbor. It doesn’t matter who it is or if you know them in person.

The source of my inspiration always changes, depending on where I am in life. My family members, Nelson Mandela, my mentor, my co-worker, or even people I’ve only met once, just to mention a few.

How to find your role model

…and what to do when you’ve found him/her:

1. Figure out which special traits you want to develop yourself.
2. Find those special traits in other people.
3. Choose your role model, someone to look up to and be inspired by.
4. Watch, learn and then apply in reality what you want to achieve. Ask your role model how they do it, they will be more than happy to help you.

What if someone choose YOU as a source of inspiration?

Walk your talk and act with credibility. Present an ethical image. Live up to your own high set standards.

See yourself through the eyes of others – how would your own source of inspiration describe you? Or your neighbor or your family? Of course it comes down to the expectations of others, but communicate clearly and live up to your promises and you will be that positive role model.

And I beg you, tell the truth. Be honest with yourself and others. Do the right thing, always. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. No bullshit! …but use duct tape on your mouth when necessary.

Just listen more than you speak and treat everybody with respect and dignity. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view, just like you’re asking people to look at things from your point of view.

SMILE! Life is an amazing gift! You can be and do everything you want to. With the right amount of determination and hard work all your dreams are possible.

Help others to reach their dreams by being the person they can look up to and get the inspiration from. It will come back to you…karma is a powerful thing.

Why is it that the older we get, the less willing we are to take chances?

As we get older we get comfortable. We get used to things and see no point in trying to change the world. “My world is fine and that’s the world I live in, so why should I care about kids starving in Africa?” Ever heard about the butterfly effect..?

When we are kids or teenagers nothing can stop us. We will change this and achieve that…and save the world while we’re at it. The only thing stopping us, if we choose to, is the “old generation”, the people telling us to grow up, get a life. The people that has given up their dream for different reasons. Or maybe they never had a dream – “What’s the point? It’s not like I can change anything anyway.”

“You can’t save everybody.” I was told. “You have to think about yourself first. Why do you always have to do so much for everybody else?” My reply was always “Because I can.” And I still believe that I can make a change. I know I can’t save everybody, but if I can help just one single person who’s asking for a change in their life, then I will be 100% there for them.

Being in the organisation CISV has helped me helping others…and others to help me. During those 3-4 weeks once a year I cry, laugh, love and learn so incredibly much. I can not think of any other place where I experience this huge emotional roller coaster in such short period of time. A couple of years at university can, in my world, not even by a long-shot be compared to CISV camps with kids sometimes half my age. Those kids teach me more than most of the teachers do at Uni.

Part of the old generations wisdom is right, I know that the most important person in my life is myself. Without me being sound, I can not help anybody else. But I have also learnt my lesson; I will never let anybody take my dreams away from me and that’s what I tell my kids in CISV (and everybody else for that matter). Dare to dream.

Don’t take life to serious. At the end of the day you will die anyway. And how do you want to remember your life when you’re older? Proudly content, or regretfully disgruntled. Think about that one when you wake up in the morning…how’s your day going to be?

Just dare to live. It’s easy. What do you really have to loose compared to what you can actually win? Take a chance. Live a little. If you are not happy with your present life – change it! You are the only one that can change your life. You are the only one that can take that crucial decision about which way to go when you’re standing in one of those cross-roads in life. Clues, help and knowledge is everywhere, not only in the places where you think it might be.

Look around you and see the world for what it is. It’s huge. And it’s wide open for you. The sky is your limit and your mind sets the boundaries.

I beg you. Dare to dream. Because you know what? Dreams do come true.
- Tess

1. Do a cartwheel.
2. Sing into your hairbrush.
3. Walk barefoot in wet grass.
4. Play a song you like really loud, over and over.
5. Dot all your “i”s with smiley faces.
6. Read the funnies. Throw the rest of the paper away.
7. Dunk your cookies.
8. Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along.
9. Step carefully over sidewalk cracks.
10. Change into some play clothes.
11. Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich.
12. Eat ice cream for breakfast.
13. Kiss a frog, just in case.
14. Blow the wrapper off a straw.
15. Have someone read you a story.
16. Find some pretty stones and save them.
17. Wear your favorite shirt with you favorite pants even if they don’t match.
18. Take a running jump over a big puddle.
19. Get someone to buy you something you really don’t need.
20. Hide your vegetables under your napkin.
21. Stay up past your bedtime.
22. Eat dessert first.
23. Fuss a little, then take a nap.
24. Wear red gym shoes.
25. Put way too much sugar on your cereal.
26. Make cool screeching noises every time you turn a corner.
27. Giggle a lot for no reason.
28. Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about CREATING yourself.

Welcome to the year Two Thousand And Shine!

inspiration, personal development

Everybody wants to influence other people, one way or another. And I honestly think we do. All of us. Consciously or not. That goes for you too.

I don’t know anybody that doesn’t want to leave a mark, let it be big or small, in this world. It could be anything from being praised in the books of history for saving the world, to as simple as leaving a loving memory in the minds of the closest when it’s time to move on. We all wish to be remembered in some way, but do you know how you want to be remembered? Do you even think about it?

We all walk through life side by side with more people than I sometimes think we realize. You have an impact on people around you and people you meet, whether you know it or not. I believe that we meet people on our journey for a reason. I believe we have something to learn from every single traveler that crosses our path. It’s just a matter of figuring the lesson out…and that you can do by just simply being aware.

Open your eyes. Who pays a little bit of extra attention when you speak? Who keeps an eye on your actions, with the purpose of getting inspired? Do you honestly value this? And do you realize the effect that you have on other people? Your words and actions speaks louder than your voice…keep that in mind when strolling through your day in your own world. You know, it doesn’t matter if you like it or not, your world is also someone else’s world.

You have an impact on your fellow earth walkers. It is up to you if you care about it or not. And if you do care, it is up to you to make the best out of it. You have supporters and cheerleaders throughout your whole life. We all do. Look around you. Who is your supporter and/or cheerleader in life?

I have recognized quite a few of my supporters and cheerleaders. They make me smile and feel loved when I need it. They lift me up when I’m down. I know where to find my inspiration by now. Do you know where to find yours?

When you’ve managed to identify your enthusiastic fans do you acknowledge them? Thank them? Accept the energy and support they are so willing to give you? I know I don’t. Not always at least. I could definitely be much better in giving the same support back, but maybe that’s the way it is…not everything is given back the same way it comes from…but what goes around comes around. That’s a universal law. Pay it forward - your reward will come, but maybe from another source and direction.

Your fellow human beings are there for you and they care for you even if you don’t notice it. So, look around again. From now on, see the world through the eyes of a star…and give your followers a big smile.

Purpose is one of the most powerful motivators in the world. You want to have a purpose for doing things, a purpose for going to work and a purpose for living. Finding your purpose might be a difficult process, but there are quite a few people out there willing to help you along the way. Your manager should definitely be one of them.

Every single person on this planet has the ability to get excited and motivated about something. I believe, just like Robin Sharma, that we all have a deep inner need to be a part of something larger than ourselves. We want to feel that we are making some sort of contribution. Let it be to your family, at work or in the world.

A good leader “fans the flames of excitement” within the organization by continually showing the employees that the work they are doing is moving them closer to a compelling cause. The leader gives his/her followers reasons to get up in the morning feeling motivated to go to work and do the best they can do.

Most leaders have a vision of their company’s future. Of course they do. They wouldn’t be who and where they are if they didn’t. But having a vision is not enough. The vision must “excite the minds and touch the hearts” of the people in the organization. People will go far beyond the call of duty when their leader paints for them a future vision that is compelling and important.

Rather than constantly ordering people to work toward the future goals you have developed, why not give them a reason to do so? Show employees that you have their best interest in mind. Give your followers what they need and want. Create the motivation and inspiration needed for them to work with you towards the vision you have in your mind. Link paycheck to purpose – but realize that Paycheck means different things to different people.

Inspiration: Leadership Wisdom From The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma

Time to grow up.
Time to act the way you’re supposed to act when you’ve passed 30.
Time to become ‘normal’.

…and we all know what ‘normal’ is?

• Being approximately average or within certain limits in intelligence and development
• Conforming with a social norm or standard
• Functioning or occurring in a natural way
• Lacking observable abnormalities or deficiencies; not abnormal
• Free from mental illness; sane

I think ‘normal’ is in the eyes of the beholder. There is so many different ways of being normal that there is no standardized ‘Normal’ that could be applied to all individuals in every culture and sub-culture. I am normal Here but not There and vice versa.

“We have become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.”
- Jimmy Carter

At the end of the day you decide what is Normal to you. I just wish that we can create a world where we can live side by side and not even think about what’s Normal or not. Everybody’s different, but we are all here trying to live our lives the way we think is the best way. Let us do that. Let us live the way we want to and live your life the way you want to. Be interested in other people - not judge them by appearance. Love instead of fear your fellow beings.

Make sure there is peace where you live - the butterfly effect will sort the rest of the world out.

“We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.”
- Anne Frank -

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WisdomQuotes.com

To be able to deliver you have to know the expectations. No matter if it is a project at work or in a relationship. It all comes down to communication.

You expect things from your friends, family, colleagues, politicians, priests, leaders and a whole lot of other people, right? Do you think they expect anything from you? I know they do. We all expect things from each other in one way or another. Sometimes it’s unattainable, but most of the time it’s quite reasonable things.

I know my parents every Christmas wished for us “kids to behave nicely”. As a kid that felt like a strange Christmas wish, but it makes sense. And their expectation isn’t difficult to live up to. A few years down the line it might be slightly more complicated expectations but as soon as we make a promise and a commitment to something, it is our duty to deliver.

Do you know what those around you expect from you? If you say yes, are you really sure that you know? Or do you think you know? When last did you ask your manager, mum or friends what they expect from you? Have you communicated clearly what you are willing to live up to or not? I know I haven’t.

Listen and observe. Communicate clearly. And live up to your promises.

communication, personal development, trust

I think it was Confucius that said ”Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof when your own doorstep is unclean.” We so easily complain about things and people around us, but how often do we really look at ourselves with open eyes and heart. How often do we exercise some realistic self-contemplation and make an action plan to find the way to where we deep inside truly want to be?

A friend of mine reminded me a few days ago about who I used to be. I used to have goals and dreams for myself. Where are they now? Am I so content with where I am today that I no longer need goals? Have I fulfilled all my dreams and therefore I am not in need of new ones? I honestly don’t think so.

I have had to turn this matter over quite a bit in my mind lately. I’ve read books, spoken to people and most of all…I’ve done some thinking on my own. “Where am I today?” “Who am I?” “Where do I see myself in 5…10 years?” It may sound like a mid-life crisis but it’s actually not that bad. More like a wake-up call just in time. And I actually got back exactly what I threw out…

The reason why this even came up is because I told my friend about “the snow on his roof”, but in fact quickly got reminded of my own not very well swept doorstep. I simply have some cleaning up to do before I can even think about criticizing other people’s life. And even then, I shouldn’t criticize or condemn.

I think we have to keep on cleaning our own house all through our lives…and it will never be finished, there is always some new input into our lives that will give us reason to do spring-cleaning of our own back yard. Especially before we speak “wisely” about any person’s life but our own.

So, take care…and be nice! Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. Instant karma is not something to play around with…everything you project will come back to you – the people around you are merely a reflection of yourself.